About three-quarters of all the showers Ruby has ever taken have been with me. We were all set to get into the shower this afternoon:
Ruby: I have to pee.
Me: Okay, go ahead.
Ruby: I'll wait.
Me: No, go now.
Ruby: I'll just pee in the shower.
Me: Uh, no, you won't just pee in the shower. That's disgusting!
Ruby: It's not disgusting! It goes right down the drain!
Me: Do not pee in the shower. Oh, my God. Do you pee in the shower?
Ruby: I always pee in the shower.
Me: I don't want you to pee in the shower ever again. Never, ever again.
Ruby: But it's fun!
Me: Well, from now on, you can take your showers with Daddy.
Unbelievable! By my calculations, I've been peed on in the shower approximately 312 times.
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Well, by conservative estimate I have suffered some type of excrement event more than a thousand times growing up on the farm. None of them were fatal, although all of them were pretty damn disgusting by city folk standards. If you don't have a pretty strong stomach, don't ever get me started on cleaning out barns and fertilizing fields with that wonderful invention the manure spreader!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd rather have my four-year-old pee on me in the shower. At least I'm getting clean while it's happening!
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