McDonald's Wants You to Pull Up Your Pants

Sometimes I get sucked into my Yahoo! news feed, and click on articles I know I shouldn't click on for my own good. I did that today. Oops.

It's an article about two McDonald's stores in Texas that have banned baggy pants. I don't get the baggy pants thing, but whatever. I'm not offended by it. I do have a slight distaste for dress codes in general, but it wasn't the dress code itself that got me worked up as much as the sign:

"PULL YOUR PANTS UP or Don't Come In!!! Try to have some decency & respect for others, No one wants to see your underwear."

First, the three exclamation points. Isn't that a little excessive?

We're used to seeing this:

No Shoes

No Shirts

No Service

It's to the point, neutral in voice, reasonable. And now, this:

No Shoes

No Shirts 

No Service!!!

Ah, it changes a bit. It's emotionally charged. It's passing judgment on those who aren't wearing shoes or aren't wearing shirts. 

The McDonald's sign is shaking its finger at you with a big, disapproving frown on its face. "Pull up your damn pants, you disrespectful whippersnapper! You kids these days, with your underwear hanging out for God and your mother to see! Why in my day...!"

Why not simply this:

Baggy Pants Not Allowed

Just stating the rules, like No Left Turn or Employees Only.

OMG! No Left Turn!!!

Employees only!!! We're Serious!

Okay, so the exclamation points set my teeth on edge. Then I read the middle part: "Try to have some decency and respect for others, No one wants to see your underwear." Jesus, you already said that with your three exclamation points. We get it already. The word "try" here indicates that McDonald's feels that those who choose to wear their pants a certain way are completely void of decency and respect for others, and that having some decency and respect for others is something they will have to put grave effort into doing simply because they let their underwear-clad ass show. Boy, it must be easy going through life when everything is so black and white, no gray areas.

And seriously? Decency and respect for others? Really, McDonald's? How's that working out for YOU, you slimy bastards? Oh, right:

Let's not forget who's largely responsible for the public assistance bill we all end up paying because certain multi-billion dollar corporations don't want to pay their human workers a decent living wage. 

The baggy-pants crowd is better off without you, McDonald's, not vice-versa.

Update: this short video says it all. What a bunch of nasty pigs.